Halloween and what not...

sorry for the lack of updates lately. I started working for a different radio station- and its significantly busier than the last one i was at- which is for sure a good thing... but just leaves me tired more ofen. Candice and I are doing amazing. Her new wig looks fantastic. We are going out this weekend, to this "goth" club that we used to frequent. It'll be good to go back, and what not. Excited for some dancing, and the best people watching ever.

We went shopping for Halloween Costumes, early i know. But it was fun and we both found good ones. :) We will be attending the Exotic Zone Ball this year, which is a huge halloween party here in Sacramento. and its a big deal, because Candice will be going, not Cameron... i am excited. Candice is going as Alice in Wonderland.. and i am being a Sailor. :) super excited!

Me and Candice had a fun at home night the other night. I would post pictures, but they a. aren't on this computer and b. aren't totally appropriate. :) they are only a little naughty i swear... but it was a lot of fun, and she looked gorgeous as always. I had needed my alone time with Candice- i tend to get a tad jealous when we go out a lot with other people, because i miss her... :) anyways- i think that is about it....

random...

i haven't posted in awhile... i'm not very happy about that. Life has been crazy busy... going to work early, and leaving late has become a part of my everyday routine. but, gotta do what i can to help get the promotion i am striving for! Candice got her new wig on wednesday. :) yay! its super pretty and amazing. Not as thick as her last one, but looks more real. she looks beautiful with it on... we are going out this weekend, and i cannot wait to see her all dolled up with her new wig. I miss her. its been two weeks again... we really need to get back in the every week habit- because i just don't know if i can handle it anymore. :)

Dragalicious

thankfully, me and candice FINALLY got a night out again!!!!! and it was awesome. Super chill and low key, but the drag show at Face's was super fun. We were laughing and drinking and just having an all around good time together. Candice looked beautiful as ever... i swear, i fall more and more in love with her everytime i see her. she is just so amazing. Its beyond belief most of the time. Anyways- I have made Candice promise me a chill at home photo shoot soon... and her new wig should be coming soon too. YAY!

too long

Its been like another 3 weeks. and we are both going crazy. and i have to work this weekend. :( on Saturday night. man... so bummed. i don't even know what to write. i miss candice so much.... i guess sunday we can go out. its about the only option we have... :( sad day...

back to reality

the minnesota trip was fabulous. simply amazing. and now its back to reality! BOOOOOOOOO! All of my friends loved Cameron (duh) and i think we had more fun than we had imagined we would! here are some pics from the trip...

minnesota ....

its been awhile since i posted... Camerons birthday was super good. the concert was AMAZING. seriously. the sounds, paramore and No Doubt were unreal!!! and cameron had a blast... which is the most important part. Now weare going to minnesota on thursday, and we come back late monday night. i am from minnesota- so its time to take him back to meet all the rest of my family and friends. :) i am pretty excited about it. we also are going to try very very very hard to go out one night while we are there. there is this fun place called "the 90's" that we are gonna try and go to... i am getting frustrated waiting for his wig to come... i really want it to come before we leave- but i am doubting it. its being shipped to my work so hopefully no one messes with it. :) this is such a jumbled mess right now... i am gonna just stop. :)

birthday madness

sorry ahead of time... this post really has nothing to do with candice... (i know sorry) but its camerons birthday on friday... and we are going to the No Doubt/Paramore/the Sounds show. it will be amazing.... but i miss him right now. its been a crazy week, and we haven't had much time together since we went out last friday. :( i just miss him.

never did i ever imagine

that i would be sitting in my aunts bedroom on her computer looking for wigs for my boyfriend with her and my mom. never did i ever think that my mom would be the one paying for it! such a trip. I spent a good part of sunday on all sorts of different wig websites looking for a new wig for Candice. I found what i believe is going to be an amazing wig for her... (i had to do a little convincing to her though) and we ordered it yesterday. yay!

we leave for minnesota in 9 days. and i cannot wait! i am so excited for my family and friends to meet cameron... and i am so excited at the huge possibility of Me and Candice going out in my hometown! i would seriously love it so much. :) the whole trip will be nice though. we need some vacation time. life has been crazy busy, where we get at each others throats... we need to take that step back and just chill out, relax and enjoy each other.

(this is one of my favorite pictures of us)

so much fun!

this first picture kinda isn't that great of us... however- its the only one we took at the club. lol. we were having too much fun to take pictures! Me and Candice had a wonderful time out, and it was something much much needed. she looked beautiful as always.

She got hit on by a guy, who didn't know she wasn't a GG, it was pretty funny... although i do a get a little protective feeling. Like i

puff out my chest and get all defensive of her... but only because i love her, and don't like people getting all touchy and what not... this time i let it go... he seemed pretty harmless. the best part of the whole night though, was getting to go home, and cuddle and kiss her. i had missed her so so much, and just wanted to spend quiet, sweet alone time with her. i don't like sharing her all that much! i am kinda selfish when it comes to my Candice time, and i think its because i don't get to see her all the time, so when i do, i want her all to myself. lol. anyways- we had a pretty stellar, amazing night, and definitely need to do it more often again... i miss the days of going out every week, and i am pretty sure she does too.

it's about time...

candice and i are going out tomorrow night. and i cannot wait!!!!! i cannot wipe the smile off my face... i am so excited to see her, and i can't wait to kiss her and give her loves. i feel like a little school girl right now, looking forward to my first date! i will be sure to take pictures tomorrow, so i can share with everyone else. AH! i am just so excited.

still..

in withdrawals. Candice and I didn't go out last weekend either.... it'll be at least 3 weeks before we finally go out... if it ends up happening. i miss her like crazy. It funny, me and cameron both get kind of crabby when candice hasn't gone out in awhile. it weird how that works. but its just so much a part of who we are as a couple, and especially who he is as a person, that to me, it just feels wrong when we don't go out. i don't know. Its been a weird few weeks, so maybe thats why. but i am crossing my fingers that i get to dance with my girl sooner rather than later. :)

miss my girlfriend

i am in Candice withdrawals right now. hardcore. we haven't gone out in what feels like ages. and i am missing her oh so much. its weird how that works. i mean cameron and candice are the same person... for the most part. i mean deep down they are completely. But when i don't get to see candice's beautiful face, i get a little sad, and really start to miss it. I miss going out and dancing. Holding her hand while we walk around and what not. i miss there being two pairs of heels walking down the street, not just one. never in my wildest dreams did i think that i would think like this.. but i do completely. Candice is a huge part of my life, and who i am.. and without her around for awhile, it begins to feel a little more empty. Hopefully we go out this weekend... i don't think i can last another week without kissing her lips.

random thoughts

after this weekend, it will be 2 weeks since me and candice went out. It makes me pretty sad when we don't get out every week. i miss my girlfriend when i don't see her. :( it just hasn't worked out the past two weekends... too much stuff going on. been thinking a lot about Candice, and about the community. Here in Sacramento, its not nearly enough of a presence. At Pride, there was a pretty good FTM presence, but not enough MTF. Other than the obvious queens riding in the cars and what not. But not enough TG's walking around at the festival. It actually made me and Candice kind of sad. In fact it made me want to start this blog even more, because i want to help. I want us to help progress the Trans community, especially MTF. I want to be that team on the forefront of every event, holding our heads high with extreme pride for who and what we are and stand for. The more out there we are, the better things will become. I dream so much of a day where Candice and I can walk around downtown sacramento, and not worry at all about what people are thinking, or what they might say... a day where its totally normal and accepted to be trans, and be proud. I want to see more TG's out at the clubs, because there are so few out there now, i want Candice to not be the only one most nights. (even though i think she likes the attention of being the only one) Trans is such a novelty right now... its the new "gay". You see a trans girl on TV shows randomly, and it feels like its just for the novelty of it... for the fact of being different and raising eyebrows. But not in the way of completely promoting acceptance. It's the "cool" new thing to do, and it just in some ways feels so wrong. i want to help change that. i want us to help change that...

some pics. :)

Thought i would share some more pictures. i don't know much to write right now. probably have too much on my mind... or something.... who knows. :)

questioning and wondering

i would be lying if i said i wasn't a little thrown off when Cameron told me about Candice, and about the role it played in his life. I was cautious and nervous as to what i was getting myself into. Was i going to go down this road with him, for however long, and then wake up one day to him telling me he wanted to be a girl full time... and if that was the case, how was i going to respond? Cameron has assured me over and over again that he wants to always remain as Cameron and Candice, not one or the other. Because he says they are both a huge part of who he is. What i have learned about myself and my love for him, is that if he were one day to decide to be Candice full time, that i would still be right by his side. Because i am in love with who he is, and he is always the same amazing person whether he is wearing pants or a dress. As it is right now, i am pretty much the luckiest person in the world. I get the best of both worlds, wrapped up in one phenomenal person. i can't imagine my life without cameron, or candice. They both play such a huge role in my life, and in making me the person i am today. I would be sad for either one of them to ever go away, but i know in my heart, that if that were to happen, i would still be with him. No matter what- i am in this 100%, and that will never change. feeling like this, has been the most amazing feeling i have ever had. Life throws curveballs all the time, and there are so many moments where i am unsure, and unknowing about what lies before me, but i always am sure of one thing... my love for him. i can always rely on that, and honestly, thats what gets me threw most days. :)

Pride 2009

pride 2009.

me and candice's first time. :) it was super amazing. We were super lucky, because Pride was being held within walking distance of our home. So we got up early and got ready, and walked the like 6 blocks or so to pride. We got there early, which was a good thing. :)

This event was a pretty big deal. It was not only our first Pride together, but it was the first time Candice has gone out in the daylight, let alone WALKING there. It was a pretty amazing time, and i know we both had a lot of fun. It felt amazing to be out at the park on a beautiful summer day with my girlfriend, and have no one question it or anything. amazing. I already can't wait for next year. I just really think Candice should be one of the girls with the tiaras in the cars! she is way too pretty not to be!!!

the first time...

I figured i should start this thing off the right way, a picture of me and the man of my dreams. Yes, i said man, and yes that is him in the picture. My name is Chelsea, (left) and my boyfriend/girlfriend is Candice. The rollercoaster ride i am on with her started a little over a year ago. i'll share a bit of it...

I had spent 4 years being alone, not willing to settle for the right person, and not willing to waste time weeding them out, i knew he would come along. I met a wonderful guy named Cameron. I pretty much was head over heels within a few weeks. He just felt right. Cameron told me about 2 months into "dating" that he was transgendered. We were at a coffee shop here in Sacramento, when he pulled out his laptop and showed me a picture. I stared at the screen, looking at one of the most beautiful girls i have ever seen. i knew in my head that this picture was indeed Cameron, but it took awhile to register, and when it did all i said was "do you do your own make-up?" to which he responded "yes", i said "you're eyeliner is amazing" slight silence took place, but not much. it didn't take him long to start asking me how i felt about it, and what i was thinking. and the truth is, i didn't know what i was thinking. and i didn't know the answer to that for awhile. the only thing i did know, was that i still cared for him, and didn't think any different. we went through lots of conversations, before he decided to dress for me in person. When i saw him, in person, there was no doubt in my mind that i didn't care at all. In fact, i knew at that point that i wanted to spend a LOT more time with him. I had been waiting to be weirded out by it, and that feeling never came, which told me, that he was the right person, the person worth my time, the one i had been waiting for.

I could write about this forever, and it could be a really really long story, and i think its a good one, however i do intend to get other people reading this, (hopefully on a consistent basis) and if i drag the story out for as long as it really is, you will lose interest and never come back.

the important thing is that within a month of him telling me, i was in love with him, and in this for the long haul.

our life together is amazingly important to me, and i will continue to write more about it, and share the stories(they are amazing) because i think they are important for others to know. My hope for this blog is to make it a safe place for other transgender people and those in relationships with them, and people in general to maybe learn a little whatt being transgendered or being with someone who is transgendered is all about. I hope that my life with Candice and me writing about can help people out there who are going through similar things. and lastly, i hope that people have fun here... and aren't shy. i am open to all questions, and what not. Enjoy Candice & Me. :)