minnesota ....

its been awhile since i posted... Camerons birthday was super good. the concert was AMAZING. seriously. the sounds, paramore and No Doubt were unreal!!! and cameron had a blast... which is the most important part. Now weare going to minnesota on thursday, and we come back late monday night. i am from minnesota- so its time to take him back to meet all the rest of my family and friends. :) i am pretty excited about it. we also are going to try very very very hard to go out one night while we are there. there is this fun place called "the 90's" that we are gonna try and go to... i am getting frustrated waiting for his wig to come... i really want it to come before we leave- but i am doubting it. its being shipped to my work so hopefully no one messes with it. :) this is such a jumbled mess right now... i am gonna just stop. :)

birthday madness

sorry ahead of time... this post really has nothing to do with candice... (i know sorry) but its camerons birthday on friday... and we are going to the No Doubt/Paramore/the Sounds show. it will be amazing.... but i miss him right now. its been a crazy week, and we haven't had much time together since we went out last friday. :( i just miss him.

never did i ever imagine

that i would be sitting in my aunts bedroom on her computer looking for wigs for my boyfriend with her and my mom. never did i ever think that my mom would be the one paying for it! such a trip. I spent a good part of sunday on all sorts of different wig websites looking for a new wig for Candice. I found what i believe is going to be an amazing wig for her... (i had to do a little convincing to her though) and we ordered it yesterday. yay!

we leave for minnesota in 9 days. and i cannot wait! i am so excited for my family and friends to meet cameron... and i am so excited at the huge possibility of Me and Candice going out in my hometown! i would seriously love it so much. :) the whole trip will be nice though. we need some vacation time. life has been crazy busy, where we get at each others throats... we need to take that step back and just chill out, relax and enjoy each other.

(this is one of my favorite pictures of us)

so much fun!

this first picture kinda isn't that great of us... however- its the only one we took at the club. lol. we were having too much fun to take pictures! Me and Candice had a wonderful time out, and it was something much much needed. she looked beautiful as always.

She got hit on by a guy, who didn't know she wasn't a GG, it was pretty funny... although i do a get a little protective feeling. Like i

puff out my chest and get all defensive of her... but only because i love her, and don't like people getting all touchy and what not... this time i let it go... he seemed pretty harmless. the best part of the whole night though, was getting to go home, and cuddle and kiss her. i had missed her so so much, and just wanted to spend quiet, sweet alone time with her. i don't like sharing her all that much! i am kinda selfish when it comes to my Candice time, and i think its because i don't get to see her all the time, so when i do, i want her all to myself. lol. anyways- we had a pretty stellar, amazing night, and definitely need to do it more often again... i miss the days of going out every week, and i am pretty sure she does too.

it's about time...

candice and i are going out tomorrow night. and i cannot wait!!!!! i cannot wipe the smile off my face... i am so excited to see her, and i can't wait to kiss her and give her loves. i feel like a little school girl right now, looking forward to my first date! i will be sure to take pictures tomorrow, so i can share with everyone else. AH! i am just so excited.

still..

in withdrawals. Candice and I didn't go out last weekend either.... it'll be at least 3 weeks before we finally go out... if it ends up happening. i miss her like crazy. It funny, me and cameron both get kind of crabby when candice hasn't gone out in awhile. it weird how that works. but its just so much a part of who we are as a couple, and especially who he is as a person, that to me, it just feels wrong when we don't go out. i don't know. Its been a weird few weeks, so maybe thats why. but i am crossing my fingers that i get to dance with my girl sooner rather than later. :)

miss my girlfriend

i am in Candice withdrawals right now. hardcore. we haven't gone out in what feels like ages. and i am missing her oh so much. its weird how that works. i mean cameron and candice are the same person... for the most part. i mean deep down they are completely. But when i don't get to see candice's beautiful face, i get a little sad, and really start to miss it. I miss going out and dancing. Holding her hand while we walk around and what not. i miss there being two pairs of heels walking down the street, not just one. never in my wildest dreams did i think that i would think like this.. but i do completely. Candice is a huge part of my life, and who i am.. and without her around for awhile, it begins to feel a little more empty. Hopefully we go out this weekend... i don't think i can last another week without kissing her lips.

random thoughts

after this weekend, it will be 2 weeks since me and candice went out. It makes me pretty sad when we don't get out every week. i miss my girlfriend when i don't see her. :( it just hasn't worked out the past two weekends... too much stuff going on. been thinking a lot about Candice, and about the community. Here in Sacramento, its not nearly enough of a presence. At Pride, there was a pretty good FTM presence, but not enough MTF. Other than the obvious queens riding in the cars and what not. But not enough TG's walking around at the festival. It actually made me and Candice kind of sad. In fact it made me want to start this blog even more, because i want to help. I want us to help progress the Trans community, especially MTF. I want to be that team on the forefront of every event, holding our heads high with extreme pride for who and what we are and stand for. The more out there we are, the better things will become. I dream so much of a day where Candice and I can walk around downtown sacramento, and not worry at all about what people are thinking, or what they might say... a day where its totally normal and accepted to be trans, and be proud. I want to see more TG's out at the clubs, because there are so few out there now, i want Candice to not be the only one most nights. (even though i think she likes the attention of being the only one) Trans is such a novelty right now... its the new "gay". You see a trans girl on TV shows randomly, and it feels like its just for the novelty of it... for the fact of being different and raising eyebrows. But not in the way of completely promoting acceptance. It's the "cool" new thing to do, and it just in some ways feels so wrong. i want to help change that. i want us to help change that...