Monday, September 29, 2014

Withdrawals

Camerin & I went and saw Against Me! on Saturday... This is the third time in 5 weeks... I'm pretty sure we are gonna start to have withdrawals soon. 

Camerin didn't attend the show as Candice, which felt very weird, and just not right. Things have been a little messy, chaotic, and just weird the past few days. Things happened which made dressing not a possibility. 

We've both been going through so much. I am on a leave from work, for a myriad of reasons, and she is trying to figure out who she is really is. 

It's pretty shitty timing for both of us to be weak-but it's reality. 

There is a power struggle- of who's shit is more important- when the reality is, it's equally important. 

It's been a rough few days, and I am sad I didn't get to see Candice on Saturday. I'm actually sad everyday I don't get to see her. That's how I know that transition won't change anything. When I dream, I see Candice, when I fantasize, I see Candice. When I look at Camerin-I see Candice. And that's how it's been since we had that fateful conversation 7 years ago. 

Things are gonna get harder before they get easier- but the payoff will be worth it. 

The juice will be worth the squeeze. 

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