Friday, March 13, 2015

Pregnancy guilt

No one talks about the guilt you feel while pregnant. Not once have I read anything about it or had anyone talk to me about it. 

I've never been good at taking care of myself- or receiving help from others. When pregnant I am left with no choice most of time. But that lack of choice comes with the most extreme amount of guilt I have ever experienced. 

My entire pregnancy I have felt guilty for the things I am unable to do. I feel guilty that I can't carry heavy things, eat certain foods, help paint the house, climb ladders, work more hours, etc. I feel guilty that after a 6 hour day at work- I feel like crying and sleeping the rest of the day. So because I feel guilty- I push myself to keep doing things. Until I am at the point of exhaustion- which Is where I am now. 

I have been crying on and off all day. And if I could- it would be the only thing I do for th rest of the day. 

I'm not good at needing people- but I do right now. A lot. And I don't know how to ask for anything- because when I do- I just feel guilty. 

I am being blessed with my dream. All I've ever wanted was to be a mom- and that is coming true. There is no reason for me to be complaining.