Sunday, September 21, 2014

Racing thoughts

My brain has been on overdrive. Not in a bad way, but just going constantly. 

I've been thinking about Candice's transition, and what that process is gonna look like. 

I have no way of actually being prepared. I'd like to think I am as prepared as possible, but I know the actuality of it will look different then I can imagine. 

I love her, no matter what. She makes me feel a way that no one else ever has or could, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous. 

Candice is beautiful. All the time. It's nothing about the way she will look. It's about the way our relationship will be. 

I'm afraid of our roles changing. Of Candice feeling like she needs to take on a traditional female role, and want me to take on a traditional male role. I don't think that will happen. Mostly because we already are pretty balanced in that department- but it's still a real fear of mine. 

I am afraid of our relationship changing. We are perfect now. And everything works so well- I am afraid of that changing. I know these fears are probably irrational, and just an overreaction. 

I know that I have been running on overdrive in my brain, and that that is making things worse. 

I know in my heart, that no matter what, as long as we are together- we will be fine. 

I need to remind myself of that. 

As long as we are together- we will be matter what. 


  1. Being the spouse that transitioned, I do know that support groups have helped my wife through all this. There are quite a few online that she found to be helpful. I would suggest checking some of them out to help prepare.

  2. Thank you. I appreciate that. I will definitely look into finding a support group.