Cloud nine

It's really easy to get caught up in bullshit, fears, what ifs, and negativity.  But when you really think about it- none of that matters. 

At the end of the day- Candice & I will be together. I know that in my heart. I know she is the person I am supposed to be with. 

Life has been a whirlwind lately. But in mostly good ways. And those are what I need to remember. 

And the best thing lately... I am pregnant. 14 weeks today. Candice & I are gonna be parents. Which is something we have been trying for. 

In September of last year, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Prior to the miscarriage we had found out that I had some issues with getting pregnant. Knowing that, made the miscarriage even harder. The next 6 months were spent doing fertility treatments, and trying to get pregnant. 

Saying it was exhausting is an understatement. It was extremely hard on both of us, and definitely tested us in a lot of ways. 

Eventually we stopped trying. I was going crazy, and we needed to reevaluate. Re ground and regroup. Be us again. 

Shortly after that- I was a week late, took 5 pregnancy tests- all positive. And am now 14 weeks pregnant. 

I've been not facing that this is real. Because I am scared- but it is real. And it is happening. And I couldn't be happier about having a child with Candice. 

This pregnancy, and child is even more of a reminder of my love for Candice. 

The past few days have been spent thinking about those things. The positives. The things that matter. And what matters is that I am head over heels in love with Candice, and we are gonna have a baby. 😊