recent thoughts and what nots

just been thinking lately. Missing Candice a lot. I feel awful that we don't go out like we used to, and that i now only see Candice once ever couple months. We haven't been out since Halloween, and i feel responsible. I know that it's not really my decision, but sometimes i am just not in the mood to go to the clubs, or the bar, and i feel bad about that. i miss Candice a lot, and really would like a date night with her soon, maybe even one where we stay in, and i can cook her dinner... followed by drinks and dancing. Something. We need time together soon- and i know she feels it too.

Halloween!

Halloween is and always has been my favorite Holiday. This year my Halloween was more stressful and crazier than usual. I spent the week leading up to Halloween working 10-12 hour days- and by the time Halloween was here- it was my 7th day in a row working. I pretty much worked right through my favorite holiday- but there was one awesome night, that made it all worth it. Candice and I attended the Exotic Halloween Ball, and had a great time. Words cannot describe how excited i was to see my girlfriend- it had been at least 2 months since we had gone out. of course, she looked just as beautiful as ever, even more beautiful than i had remembered. Reminded me again, how important it is for us to go out together. i am hoping we can start going out more again- i don't think i can survive another 2 months without her. Look how beautiful she looked!

Dancing and Drinks

I got dancing and drinks on my mind...with my beautiful girlfriend. Hopefully we can carve out some time soon to make those things happen. it's been way too long- life is too busy. i think we both desperately need a fun night out. and if time doesn't allow for that, at least some time at home.... i miss her more then i think she realizes... :)

it's been awhile

and i miss my girlfriend...a lot... it's been a long time since me and Candice went out. It's been a long time since i have blogged as well...probably because of the lack of us going out. Things have been a little hectic. New jobs and planning a wedding tend to take up a lot of time. but i miss her. a lot. and i miss us. and our time together... sometimes i feel guilty, like maybe i make candice go away, or make cameron not want to be candice...because i get needy, and whiney sometimes. and to be honest...sometimes i get scared. Sometimes i feel like i am holding Cameron back from really truly being who he wants to be, and who he is. Sometimes i feel that Cameron does want to be Candice full time, and as much as i am okay with that, and would here no matter what- i feel like he never would do it, or admit it. It's definitely a unique situation- not something one usually has to think about- but to me, it's very real. I would be by Cameron's side no matter what- and i hope he truly knows that... because its who is that i am in love with.

i miss my girlfriend

I miss Candice. SO MUCH. its been a few weeks again- as it seems to always be.... and i miss her so damn much. i can't wait til we go out this weekend, and i get to see her beautiful face, and kiss her sweet lips. :) its Sac Pride on saturday, and we are not going to miss it, although we will miss the parade :( unfortunately we both have to work. But we will be going out that night. And like i have already said i can't wait! i hope she is ready- i will not be able to keep my hands off of her- i can already tell!!!

Kimberly Reed on Oprah

Last night, me and cameron watched Kimberly Reed on Oprah. Kimberly used to known as Paul, who was the star quarterback and validictorian in high school. Paul is now known as Kimberly, and has made a documentary about the relationship she has with her brother, that comes out in march. The Oprah interview was great! Here is part of it....

Pictures from the photoshoot

Here are some more pictures from the More Magazine photoshoot.

More Magazine

UK's More Magazine did a feature on Me and Candice and our story. :)

another great night out

Friday night was a great night out with Candice. We went to Face's and a couple friends met up with us there. It was the most packed i have seen faces in a long, if not ever. But it was a lot of fun. A pitcher or beer, friends and lots of dancing. It had been awhile since me and Candice have gone out with other people, it was nice to have a group of us. She looked just as beautiful as she always does- if not more beautiful. Her make-up was amazing. just everything about her was amazing. as always. When we got home i got to get a little private time with Candice, which was much appreciated, and much much needed. It makes me so happy that Candice is going out more often again- and that we are making sure it happens. I had really really missed it. :) Here are some pictures. :)

Pictures from Last night....

Much needed

Last night was amazing. Me and Candice both needed it. It was such a great night. We went out pretty early, we were at Faces by 9:30, ordered a pitcher of beer and then sat at a table and talked and drank our drinks. before long we were both feeling our drinks... (we are lightweights) we went into the hip hop room and danced and just had fun being goofy together. around 11 we went across the street to this restaurant called Hot Rods- its kinda tradition that we go to hot rods after being at the club. we ate some food, and were home by like midnight. which was pretty nice. It was so nice to spend time with candice- she looked gorgeous! It had been so long since i had seen her, i think i forgot home beautiful she was. :) last night was amazing, and just what both of us needed... :)

crazy crazy crazy

Life has been nothing short of chaotic lately. Work has been crazy for both candice and me. Finding time for us has proven to be extremely hard. The holidays sucked all the energy and money out of us- which i am sure it did to most. and my blog seemed to just disappear from my mind. But i am back. :)

Somewhere in all the busy schedules, We found time to go on a short two day trip for our anniversary. We took 2 days off and went to Monterey and Santa Cruz for some relaxation. While in Monterey the first night, after going to the aquarium, eating lunch and just relaxing, Cameron took me down this dark dirt path alongside the ocean. We found a bench and sat there- looking at the stars and the waves crashing against the rocks. He stood up and asked me to stand with him, and directed my attention away from him. I kept talking to him, and he wasn't responding, when i turned around to find out why he wasn't talking, i saw him there, down on one knee, with a ring in his hand. He told me that i was his best friend and that he couldn't imagine life without me, and then asked "Will you marry me" i was already sobbing by this point, and of course said yes. :) We have set the date for May 15, 2011. gonna take our time so we can save up money and what not. i couldn't be happier. :)

Candice and I haven't been out since halloween. like i said- the busy schedules and the holidays made going out an impossibility. But we both have been dying to go out. We are doing so tonight- thank god! We went shopping today and both got new outfits. :) it felt so nice to go shopping for candice. I love picking out outfits for her, and it just felt good to know that we were gonna be going out- we both need it, especially Cameron. :) i will post pictures tomorrow and what not. I am making the decision to be better about this blog. I feel so bad for neglecting it for so long. Thank you to everyone who reads it, who hasn't left. :) i appreciate it. :)

much love. <3

super late halloween pictures...

i know i have failed to update in awhile... i promise to be better about it from here on out. Here are some pictures from Halloween this year!